by Christian McHausenstern
In the EWF magazines continuing quest for insight into the issues that matter most in this federation they have asked that all the journalists and editorial board members conduct interviews with wrestlers that viewers care about the most.
I had an opportunity to sit down with Dean Nyquist, current Cruiserweight Champion, the first title in his tenure here in the EWF. The man who has been called "the greatest mind in wrestling today", by Mike Lupica of the New York Daily News, is as arrogant and defensive as one might expect. Beneath all of that however, is a deep seated belief in his own righteousness. You begin to see the portrait of a man who has earned all of his current success, and the uneasiness of someone who can see how fleeting such success can be. He minces no words, and for that this journalist is exceptionally grateful.
CM: Mr. Nyquist thanks for sitting down with me today.
DN: It's your pleasure.
CM: Of course. How does it feel to be the Cruiserweight champion, the first championship of your career?
DN: It's awesome. But you know what's not awesome? The rule changing as soon as I become champion. Let's talk about this point based system for a minute.
CM: Okay, the rules recently changed...you didn't formally object. What's your take?
DN: The cruiserweight division used to be the same as the US Division in that you wrestle matches and try to be the best. The cruiserweights have a weight limit, but the competition is the same. It's whoever is the best. Whoever can beat everyone else. Not, whoever can impress the judges. But now it's this spectacle. This joke of a division thanks to these stupid rules.
CM: Do you feel the rules undermine your title run?
DN: I feel like I'm going to continue winning no matter what.
CM: The rules do say that the title match does not have to be fought under such the point system. You've had a lot of challengers, but you haven't really accepted a challenge. Have you chosen someone to fight at St. Valentine's Day Massacre?
CM: You ran in on Dr. Acula's match with Sanderson, he defeated
Sanderson, and than you locked him out of the NPI, are you dodging
Dr. Acula?
DN: Dodging is a big word there. I wouldn't say that I'm dodging Dr.
Acula. I can say that I honestly believe that I should give the #1
contender a shot before anyone else. Clearly, Caesar Rivera is the #1
contender and I plan on fighting him at March Madness. It comes down
to my expectation that Sugarcane would have taken my match idea. Had
he taken that match, then we'd have an exciting dual championship
match this month and no one would be complaining. Dr. Acula would have
his shot, and that bitch Han Zo Mon who thinks that the world owes him
something would have a shot too. Sugarcane would have a shot and I'd
have a shot at the Ultimate Title. I see that match as a win-win
scenario, but Sugarcane won't go for it.... this month.
CM: How about Caesar Rivera who WON the NPI...are you dodging him?
Caesar Rivera will have his day in the sun. No matter what happens
this month, he has a shot next month, and he better be ready because
he's going up against one of the smartest wrestlers the world over.
CM: You've been with the federation a long time, and this is your first title run, why now? What can you point to that ended your dry spell?
sleeping outside of the EWF building in my car because no one would
give me the opportunity and my contract was up. I had to sign on as an
interviewer in order to get my foot in the door once more. What also
helped was my knowledge of what was going on behind the scenes in the
EWF back then. A friendship with Doggman helped, despite his
resignation from the commissioner's office shortly afterwards. He's
been a huge help. And to answer your question of "why now?" it's
simple. I had never actually fought for the cruiserweight title
before. I've never come up short. For some reason, I was always pushed
into the other divisions of this company before the cruiserweights.
I'm a cruiserweight and I always have been, it's just taken people a
while to realize that. I've been going for other titles because I
honestly believe that men like the Cardinal and Sugarcane are merely
holding the belt until a real champion comes along. Han Zo Mon was the
last champion of the ultimate Division in my mind. The current
structure of the Ultimate division is a joke, much like my division.
Points? Are you kidding me? They're going to tell the fans who the
better wrestlers are? I'll tell you who's the best wrestler, it's me.
And you wanna know how? I fought for this title until I was able to
make Joey the goon scream "I QUIT" in the middle of that ring. I
proved that day and the following PPV that I was the better man. Not
that I scored more points based on some arbitrary system of scoring
punches and kicks versus planchas and missle dropkicks.
CM: Some have questioned your integrity. When you criticize men
like Sugarcane, who defeated a much larger man and won a four way,
and when you criticize the Cardinal who beat you at the last ppv,
doesn't that refute your claims that these men aren't worthy of the
titles they hold?
DN: Sugarcane won his match in a four way. Chunky Lee Chong had a good
day against Jamal, but he's not one of those guys that you associate
with a title. I have no doubt in my mind that if Sugarcane faced Han
Zo Mon or Jamal he would not stand a chance. Plus, did you see how red
and sweaty Chunky was before the match? It was clear the man was sick
but willing to participate. And the Cardinal is a tough man, but he's
no wrestling superstar. He's fighting in a division where there are
more men that are pushed to fight for that title then there are
contenders. If I walked into the conversation for the Workingman's
Title without so much as showing any interest beforehand, it could not
be a division that's hard to qualify for.
CM: But you don't deny that The Cardinal did beat you in the
Workingman's division?
DN: I was proving a point out there. Who am I in the Workingman's
Division? I'm no one. The Cardinal HAS to take on all comers because
no one is lining up to fight him. It's a first come first served
division. Who is going to want to fight for a belt where the champion
has to beg for people to fight for the title? Hmmm?
CM: I'd like to thank you for -
DN: I'm not done you son of a bitch. This is my official complaint
about the joke that Bret Hart and Jonny James has turned my division
into. I've granted Caesar Rivera a title shot based on his performance
in the She-Male Invitational. But that's it. I fight based on wins and
losses, not some stupid system that isn't even released to the public.
Bret Hart talks about wanting to make these matches more exciting. How
about he lets us smaller guys fight until there's a clear winner
instead of turning us into some sideshow. The smaller guys can put on
great matches, just like the big guys. I say that you let us have
those matches. I'm outta here.
CM: Mr. Nyquist! What do you have against Nancy Preston, who has
personally challenged you for your title and said she'd leave the
division if she lost!?
DN: I have no interest in making Nancy Preston leave the division. If
it wants to fight for the title, then it should fight for the title,
but I won't support the idea that people would be in 100% as champion
or out in another division. I can't support that kind of mentality.
Just because it's not at the top of the food chain today doesn't mean
that it won't be tomorrow. To Nancy I say this. Fight your way to the
top. Prove you deserve my respect. Don't prove it to me. Prove it to
every other wrestler in this division. Prove it to everyone in the
locker room. Prove it to all your fans. You were in the tag division
and dropped out when things didn't go your way. Now you're dropping
out of the cruiserweights too? Soon you're going to be fighting in the
hardcore division, and those guys play for keeps. So calm down, take
the sand out of your vagina, stop listening to My Chemical Romance and
just fight. If you want the title, earn it bitch.
CM: Thanks very much for your time and, best of luck at St. Valentine's Day Massacre.
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